zuck-boro.jpgFROM THE BOROWITZ REPORT in the New Yorker

MENLO PARK, CA (The Borowitz Report)—One day after Google outbid Facebook for a manufacturer of solar-powered drones, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg served warning that his company was prepared to blow Google’s drones out of the skies. At a presentation for Facebook employees at the company’s headquarters in Menlo Park, Zuckerberg announced plans to build a $24 billion Facebook laser shield, a global network of satellites capable of identifying and incinerating Google drones in midair.

Zuckerberg delighted his audience with a brief animated demonstration showing a Facebook satellite locking in on a Google drone and obliterating it with a green laser.

“Unfriended, bitch,” said Zuckerberg, to a roaring ovation from his employees.

Within an hour, Google responded with a stern warning of is own, vowing, “Any act of aggression against Google drones will not stand.”